Kids . . . I Love kids! I have always loved kids! Before I had my own kids I loved teaching kids especially the really challenging ones that made you learn to be creative in your interactions with them so a. they would know they were special and loved and b. you could get a desired behavior out of them. I went to college and learned about kids. I guess you could say I am a kid person. This brings me to my thoughts of late. Swifty and I are both kid people, who believe in age appropriate ______________ , it doesn't really matter what the blank is it could be restaurant, movie, music, etc.. I wonder if we have naturally and joyously made our children's lives so age appropriate that without even realizing it we have hindered our children's growth. I wonder if I have sheltered their world so much that I have taken all of me and Swifty out of our family. That their memories of me will not reflect the person I am or strive to become. That the things they remember about our family and their childhood will not reflect the things we like to do individually or as a couple, or even worse that they are not able to step out of their comfort zone because they have never had too. Yes I realize age appropriate things are good and yes I realize my children are still very young and there is time for them to learn these skills, but I also realize that time is now and life is fast. Hey I think it is the fact that life is fast that got us here, most days there just isn't time for a lot of those things, and a lot of things we liked to do we don't like anymore but there isn't time to find a replacement for that thing. I don't feel like I have lost myself in my children or that I don't know who I am, but am afraid that they don't know who I am or what is important to me. So in honor of Mother's day my goal for the next year is to make my family a little more equal, meaning mostly age appropriate life with a little bit of Mom and Dad stuff thrown in to help our kids understand us and hopefully be stretched in their growth and patience even if just a little.
4 comments:
Jenny,that is deep. Really, really deep. I have never thought of that. I love ya and think you are wonderful. I am also so happy that you are posting!
I have to agree with your sis--too deep. You are a great mom. Just enjoy those babies. Don't sweat the small stuff. Love you!!!
I've thought about that too, but for McKenzie it's the opposite a lot of times. She is more of a little adult than I'd like her to be sometimes! I am so excited that you'll be out here this summer. It would be great to see you guys. Let us know when you are here!
Jenny, remember your developmental theories! At the age your kids are at they aren't concerned with who you are, they are concerned with what you do and how it affects their life! Kids just want to have fun. Like Bandura suggested, I think young kids learn by following examples established by their parents or guardians.
Remember, Piaget suggested that children have to move through different stage changes. Your kids are pretty much in the concrete operational stage where they are developing understanding of concrete anchors (your examples) of how to live life. These anchors need to be established so that they can begin to think more abstractly later in life (in the formal operational stage).
In other words it will be a while before they actually begin to ask themselves "What kind of people are my parents?" If you have raised them right (as I believe you are doing) they will already know the answer to that question.
Finally, isn't it wonderful that your children don't have to worry about that stuff right now? Isn't it incredible that they can just be who they are unfettered by these deeper existential and philosophical questions that take up so much of our time and direct so much of our focus away from the little things in our lives that bring so much joy.
One final note. Farty-fart-fart.
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